Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Our neighbor commited suicide last night

Our neighbor commited suicide last night. He was 75 years old.

I tried to speak to him every day but missed yesterday and Sunday because of Easter. ( I was gone for Easter.)
I did however speak to him on Saturday and it was pretty much the same conversation that we would have every day.
He talked about how lonely he was and that his wife died 5 years ago.
(He never got over her death).

He kept telling me, He thought his golden years would be great but it wasn't at all how he had planned it for all those years.

He said he had envision his life with his wife in his golden years. He spoke about all the money he had made and was going to use it to pay a nice retirement home when he couldn't care for his self any more.

I just kept telling him things would get better and that the Devil was just working overtime right now but to give God a Chance to work now.
I told him God wasn't ready for him because his work here on earth wasn't done.

He then said he didn't think it would ever be better.

So this morning I'm beating myself up over this.
I'm asking myself again could I have done something differently?
This is second person to commit suicide sense My ex-brother in Law
"Rick" hung his self 21 years ago.
Suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem.

I don't believe anyone that commits suicide thinks about the ones they leave behind and how hard it is on their family & friends.


Leslie ~ HarvestHomePrimitives said...

Oh my goodness, Mae! I am sooo sorry! There isn't anything you could have done to prevent this. Grief is such a hard thing to deal with on a daily basis and especially when you thought you had your life planned out and it changes.I know that first hand. You did everything you could have done just by being there and giving him comforting words. It's hard for us to understand how this could happen but it does happen. I am so very very sorry. Please don't beat yourself up over this. God knew you were there for him. He just couldn't go on any longer. When someone is that distraught they don't think about the others it effects, they just want a solution to their grief. I know you know all this. I am just so very sorry.

TatteredCowWings said...

Thank you...

It really is so very sad. I just wish there was something I could have done. If I had known he was thinking about commiting suicide, I would have called his family.
I'm still in shock and can't believe this "happy go lucky guy" did this.
He just kept saying he missed his wife and he was lonely.

All day today I've thought about the term "suicide" and I don't believe he died from that.
I believe he died of a broken heart just 5 years later.
Either way It's so hard to try to wrap your head around it.
I'll be going to the Funeral Home today for visitation.
I'm so distraught.

moti said...

Sorry to read this, as you say, he died of a broken heart just 5 years later. Maybe try to think he must be happy now with his wife, if that was all he wanted.....life follow its own way, we can´t do anything to avoid this to happen...

PineyWoodsPrims~Dena said...

Ms. Mae,
I am so sorry to hear of this. My heart hurts for this man and his dear family. I also hurt for you because you knew him and was friends with him. I am sorry you had to go through this as well. Please know my prayers are with you all. I hope you are doing ok Mae.

TatteredCowWings said...

Thank you all for your sweet words..
I'll never know the answer but at least his body is at peace.

I know first hand that suicide demolish lives for those left behind.
I only pray his family will hold on to one another in this time of crisis and not separate.

Verlene Brooks said...

Dearest Mae, my heart goes out to you as you continue to heal from this tragedy. We lost our teen daughter just 6 years ago to suicide. It's hard to understand and yes it demolishes the lives of those left behind. But God is healing our family and we are holding onto his promises. I hope you are healing as well.

About Me

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Mae Hoover was born in Texas and traveled the world by being an Army Brat. As a Child she didn't have a lot of dolls, most were left behind in her many moves. Mae has had great deal curiosity in the mechanics of doll making and clothes. When she was just 11 years old, she asked her Mother for an old Sheet. Her mother was resistance but gave her the sheet anyway. Mae cut and Hand stitched her first Halloween Dress without a pattern. She has been hooked ever since. Designing and creating dolls is her passion. She has a natural ability when creating "One of a Kind Fabric and Clay Dolls". The Scissors are her Pen and the Fabric is her Paper.... She never using molds when working with the Clay. She only works with the gifts that have been given to her by God. Always made with "a Wing and a Prayer". Her dolls can be purchased on e-bay or from the Artist exclusively... Ever wonder why a name like TatteredCowWings? It's Simply because she hit a truck loaded down with cows, hit her head and woke to see cows with wings.. She had a second chance at life.. God is Good!